A Nobody Girl

A Nobody Girl

Here five days a week
6 hours a day, enough at least to preach
Just trying to get my mouth to speak
They think it’s something cool
When they break the rules like fools
With a cigarette in the hand instead of a pen
And something new planned in their minds once again
Straws with spit balls thrown at one another
“What up brutha from the utha’ mutha’?”
Lockers clacking at the sound of keys
And footsteps shuffling, only if they please
Jeans hanging half way down back sides
This is starting to become accustomed to inside
Faces painted with makeup
Some are hardly fully woken up
These ‘girls’ know how to get attention
To know the real people you gotta know the new generation

Pass by familiar faces with different races
Ethnic groups are huddled together
Some wearing the same jackets, made out of leather
To symbolise who they are known to be
Just go along with this all but don’t tell them that you disagree
There the bell goes making me step back once more
Now gotta head for that open door
In front of me knuckles hitting knuckles showing the sign of respect
Making me jump, that’s always something to expect
Walk in and there you will see
Nothing but people being themselves, maybe
“Yo teacha wah mah lesson today?”
Maybe she didn’t hear what the he say
Gum wrapping around their fingers
This all isn’t something asked for
Especially when dressed in this painful uniform

Forget the world for a while and don’t bother with the norm
Mobile phones pumping the beats of music
My timetable shows that this is meant to be physics
Papers being flickered about
And there the teacher shouts
Two lads got into a fight
With punches thrown and now this room feels tight
Over hearing the ‘she said – he said’ gossip
Damn, this period I should have just skip
Throw my head into my palms
Take a deep breath and just stay calm
Another hour will be put at waste
I wish my parents put me in another place
I wasn’t asked if I wanted to be here
But ‘it’s okay’, time will fly by and for now fight back your own tear
And next lesson will be all about ‘Romeo and Juliet’ or maybe ‘Macbeth’
This isn’t right in this stuffy atmosphere
And they say that these are meant to be the best years

In this place everywhere are familiar faces
Where you know they are from different places
With different ethnic groups and different features
This includes the so called teachers
Some will pull out a smile at you
And some will just growl at you
Hide my face and wish that tomorrow will be different
Maybe it will be better if I went absent
Some eyes I’ve seen are full of pain
Should I ask why or should I ignore with something to change?
Those with their heavy makeup and crazy clothes
Get their stares with eyes rolling from head to toe
They all shove by like they are gonna miss something once in a life time
One in four teens likely to be a criminal victim
Instead of looking for reasons it hits the media dictum

For me daily this world is something new
Maybe I’m different, maybe I’m not like you
Sniffing pot in the toilets and smoking at the bus stop
It’s making them receive attention and get to the top
You want me to change so I can belong
But 'no', I would rather stay individual than stick to your wrong
It don’t matter to me if you look at me and think ‘a nobody girl’
Because at the end of the day it’s what I am, just a schoolgirl
God made you, as well as me, this means I must be something
The world is a lie and if I must be nothing
For you to see it then so let it be it!

Written by Neelam Ahmed

Productive Muslim!



Long Live Palestine

Christmas and Muslims

Being born and brought up in a Western place can be sometimes difficult for someone who enters a Western place from a non Western country. For example, being a Muslim and coming into a place where Muslims are known as an ethnic minority. Most Muslims have to put up with the non Muslim ways and the whole Western style culture which includes the way of living.

I have a slight vivid memory of my childhood, especially when the days of Christmas came closer. I have missed some parts of my childhood and sometimes there are some things in my childhood that I remember clearly, even though they aren’t extremely important, and other memories are vague, even though for some reason I know they are important. I remember at the time when I was diagnosed with Cancer (leukaemia). When it would come close to breaking up for the two week holidays for Christmas, a tall decorated tree would stand in the hall with glimmering lights. And even at the hospital the nurses would be dressed all ‘Christmassy’ with their Santa hats or with elve ears and a day before Christmas Santa Clause would actually come to your bedside to give you a present.

I’m not quite sure who I am, so I will just say that I am a ‘Muslim British Female’, even though my background is Pakistani (there will be another blog topic post soon on ‘who I am?’ and it could be on something that you can relate to for your 'identity'). Anyway I didn’t really know what Christmas was all about, even whilst being a child I didn’t have a clue, to me it just seemed like a time where people would have fun and give presents to each other. I have no idea where the whole ‘Santa Clause’ theory is from or what exactly does a ‘tree’ have to do with Christmas or from the time Jesus was in this world. From attending a primary school that is known to be a Church of England School, therefore it’s a Catholic and Reformed school I eventually learnt that Christmas is celebrated for the birth of Jesus.

I knew that Muslims also believe in Jesus, but they do not celebrate Christmas and they believe that Jesus will one day return to Earth. The more I have been learning about Islam the more I have I learnt to be respectful and tolerant towards other religions, especially Christians as Christianity is the most common religion in England and the area I live in. Plus from having known many non Muslims and being brought up with a mixture of ethnic groups. I’m not quite sure if this has been a good thing for me as being a Muslim girl or a not so good thing for my present and future.

When I look at the way Christmas is celebrated nowadays and who celebrates Christmas exactly, it is hardly or nothing to do with religion, well for the majority at least. Sitting at the back corner of my religious studies class and the ‘non-believer’ girls talking about how they have to do Christmas shopping and how they have put up their Christmas tree made me question them. Yet they aren’t Christians, in fact they don’t believe in Jesus or have any faith in God, but yet they and their families celebrate Christmas like it’s just a normal fun thing. These were the words that a non-believer said to me when I asked ‘why do you celebrate Christmas when you are not a Christian?’ The reply was, ‘I celebrate it because it’s normal and its fun…even though I’m not a Christian it doesn’t mean that I can’t celebrate Christmas’– fair enough!

Maybe the media was to do with this publicity building up towards Christmas and putting it into everyone’s minds that anyone can celebrate Christmas if they wanted to, with the whole Christmassy movies, adverts, game shows, programmes, soaps, songs/music etc. There is very little focus on the great characteristics of Jesus and what we can all learn from his life.

Maybe those who don’t celebrate Christmas make their own fun out of it like my sister for example. She likes Christmas and she likes it only for a couple of reasons. Not for the whole Santa Clause or the tree or the presents and that. Instead she likes Christmas for the things they put on sale or offer at shops. She also likes it for the amount of movies they put on TV that she can record and watch and of course the holiday she gets off school.

The reality is that Christians and Muslim have lived in peaceful co-existence for centuries throughout the world. Even though Muslims and Christians share similar roots of history, there are still those perspectives that separate us. Like Muslims believe in the last and final prophet Mohammad (pbuh), Muslims believe that Jesus will return, that Jesus was a great prophet, they believe in the holy book Quran etc. Whereas Christianity believes that Jesus was God, he was God’s son; he died for all of our sins, they believe in the holy book Bible (there are many versions of the bible, e.g. The New Testament).

Even though I and my family do not celebrate Christmas, we do actually celebrate and cherish Jesus' birht and his life on Earth by truly loving him and trying to demonstrate his characteristics in my own life.

Dear No One

Dear No One,

Today was just a day like any other ordinary day. On the way to school the pathways, roads, house roof tops, trees and cars were covered in snow. Everything was dead and silent. The atmosphere didn’t feel the same and nor did she feel the same. Snow crushed beneath her feet and she was afraid that she would slip and fall on her bottom, so she walked at a slow paste. The trees stood still and didn’t wave their twigs or leaves to greet her the way they normally do, also the birds didn’t squeak to welcome her to another day.

There are many memories that come and go and then come again to repeat themselves. Memories of the times when she was placed in St. James hospital over something she didn’t even understand until 2 years later. The memories of when she would stand at her bedroom window and watch the rain drops splashing against the concrete floor. The memories of when most people in her school year group were shaken to hear the death of a close friend. The time when they moved into a new home and they almost had the whole neighbourhood helping them shift things. The remembrance of when her family and she went to the centre of the Earth after finishing a life threatening treatment. And not to mention the memory and smell of her homeland, Pakistan, where they had the craziest times flying kites every day and having a competition with her grandmothers opposite neighbours for two whole weeks.
Although there was something’s that she didn’t only remember clearly, but had stuck in her heart like a tattoo glued to the skin. A particular someone!

In class the other day her and her class watched a video concerning relationships influences. It showed a mothers attachment with her baby and the baby’s attachment with the mother. This part put her at a weird and wonderful feeling, in a good and bad way. Watching the mother and baby cuddling each other was wonderful. But thinking of reality and those who don’t have a baby or mother to cuddle gave her the weird side of feeling. It also showed the sort of relationship between a husband and wife and the sort of attachment and relationship between two loved ones. It came to a part where a woman spoke about her opinions on relationships, she talked of how having a loving strong relation can affect everyone around her and how loving relationships can also fall down the wrong side, from being too right to just being too wrong. She came onto saying, “Sometimes promises between two loving people mean nothing at all”. At that point she completely froze. Bones turned stiff, heart swollen, throat dry and her palms turned sweaty. She carried on staring at the ‘smart board’ where the video was being played, yet she wasn’t watching it but still staring. I swear she hadn’t blinked for over a minute at that point.

Everyone says that things get better in time and it heals the bad. But she doesn’t believe that. She missed the best times that mostly went on between the years 2006 and 2008. I was happy and my exam grades were satisfying, oddly. Perhaps because she didn’t believe that she would do okay in her exams and that she sucked at almost everything, low self esteem. But it wasn’t like that at all; she wasn’t really the moody, bad tempered and crazy teen. She had her friends, family, she was socially active and she communicated quiet well with others. Things were easy peasy like lemon squeezy. She was a normal girl.

Things changed. Just like they said it would. The world isn’t the same no more. At times she’s angry at herself and other times it’s hard to swallow. Fighting back tears and not facing others. She knows for sure that time isn’t going to heal anything and the upcoming months are just going to get worse. Media has trapped us all; we are controlled by each other. We don’t have our own freedom of choice do we?

So dear no one I will not forget who she was, who she is and who she will be! She will keep her patience for sure.

She hopes that God has prepared each day of the future for the good of others and not herself.

I am forever myself.
Neelo Peelo

Is this world a lie? Is this life is a lie. Why am I here? Why we all are separated ‘like the branches of a tree’? Why are there more criminals walking around on streets than in prisons? Why can’t we see air? How big is the universe? Why is Shakespeare so important in the western world? If God loves us all why does he cause suffering such as wars and poverty? Is there any proof to whether there is a new life after death? How do we really know where the centre of the Earth is? Where is the most energy used? Where does the snow go to? Why is there more water than land? Is there any other living specie (‘Martians’) in the universe? Can trees and plants talk? Why do living things die? When did time start and when will it end?

Trip To Belfast.

Peace,

I know I did kind of promise that I would write up a blog statement about my trip to Belfast so here it is.

So I and a group of about 21 students from my Via Media enrichment group attended an educational trip to Belfast on the 3rd and 4th of December…making the days of school on Thursday and Friday! So yes I got the chance to miss two days of school :P

The reason for the trip was for my enrichment group’s knowledge on the conflict between the Protestants and Catholics in Northern Ireland. I’ll just give you a quick overview about the whole thing. Basically there are two groups who basically fought against each other, the Catholics and Protestants…

The Catholics have a group known as IRA (Irish Republican Army), the IRA is a group of Irish people/volunteers who believed that Ireland should be a political unity. And because England (the British) had invaded parts of Ireland, the IRA fought to have their land back. So the IRA had a war against the people who wanted to keep Ireland with Great Britain (it aint that ‘Great’) and keep the British in Ireland. So overall the IRA is aimed or is aiming for the British to be gone out of Ireland – they want Ireland to be united as a single country.

Now the Protestants have remained as part of UK. They are known as ‘Loyalists’ and they have many groups such as UDA (Ulster Defence Association), UVF (Ulster Volunteer Force), and LVF (Loyalist Volunteer Force). All these groups were and are in Northern Ireland. These groups wanted to assassinate members of the IRA because they wanted to remain with UK or British.

Most frequently the loyalists have targeted the IRA and sometimes even innocent Catholics. More Catholics were/have been killed than Protestants. Almost 3,500 people on both sides have died since the Troubles began in 1969. It’s hard to say what exactly the war is over, because simply more than thousands of people cannot possible just get killed over land…could they? Some will say that it wasn’t only over land or being on which side, but in fact it was to do with social class and religion. So there are different views and yet today a couple of people will get killed now and then. This is just some of what I have learnt whilst the 2 day trip in Belfast, we had some people speak to us about their experiences of the war and even what their role had been in it.

There were many paintings, pictures, drawings, graffiti, etc on walls of houses, buildings and anywhere where there was room for a freedom of speech picture. Strangely whilst looking at many of these pictures i wondered if it was illegal to have such pictures on walls!

The image below shows a picture of 3 men who were wrongly accused, convicted and hung in 1867 in Manchester.

This picture below was one if my favourites, i was quiet suprised to see such a picture in Belfast. It shows support for Palestine and shows Israel aggression. It also shows the wall that seperated Israel and Gaza strip.

This is a picture of Bobby Sands who was a poet, MP, IRA volunteer. He wanted his demands to be met so he starved himself. He eventually died after slipping into a comma.

This is 'the peace wall' in Shankill.

This picture shows the loyalist (Protestant) group.

"Catholicism is more than a religion, it is a political power, therefore im led to believe there will be no peace in Ireland until the Catholic church is crushed". - This is probably a statement that was said by a loyalist.

I had to include this picture :D some of us went to pizza hut in Belfast City.

After eating my group ran to the top of that.

The Via Media enrichment group.

Belfast City.

The view outside the hostel (the place we were staying at).

Bogside.

Notice the palestinian flag painted on the wall in the Bogside area.

This is used to shoot or bomb the above area ages ago.
Another picture outside a museum of Palestine with me beside it :)
The plane my group was on.

Like Father - Like Daughter

Amongst the many family dynamics issues that the Muslim community is beginning to address, one of the least-discussed subjects remains that of father-daughter relationships.

In the Muslim community especially, this is an issue which has been overlooked, ignored, and generally treated with a sense of discomfort. Particularly amongst immigrant families, the relationship between a father and his daughter(s) is often a distant one; girls are encouraged to spend the majority of their time with their mothers and other womenfolk.

A girl might be "Daddy's Little Princess" as a baby, a toddler, a child, but as she grows closer to puberty she will often find herself left at home instead of taken to the masjid, attention deflected from her and turned towards her brothers instead (if she has any).
Unfortunately, this is a practice which has extremely negative repercussions… for the fathers, the daughters, and indeed the Ummah at large.

Psychologists refer to father-daughter relationships as having an importance too often overlooked, despite the incredible impact that it has on both parties. Indeed, much of the time the effect of this relationship isn't even noticed until much later in life, when patterns have already been set and are unlikely to change.

The role of a father in his daughter's life is pivotal: he is the first man in her life; the one who teaches her what he, a male, thinks of her, a female; and thus shapes her sense of self-worth in the eyes of other men; the one whose behaviour and mannerisms will influence her mental image of "the perfect man" and her choice of life partner (i.e. husband).

In Islam as well as in psychology, the father is meant to be the daughter's guardian, protecting her from harm, teaching her life skills and strong values. Yet despite all this, far too many fathers play a distant, secondary role in their daughter's lives. There is a misconception that a father is merely the breadwinner, the supporter of the household, that his role is primarily that of financial provider rather than nurturer. After all, isn't it the mother's job to raise the children? Isn't it the mother's job to teach her daughters what it is to be a girl, a woman?

Yes, it is – but the mother is not a child’s only parent. She is equally the man’s progeny. His genes are present in her DNA, his flesh and blood are hers. When she looks at him, he is seeing a part of himself; in her behaviour is a reflection of his own attitude and mannerisms.
How then can any father willingly minimize his role in his daughter’s life?

Mistakes Fathers Make

Not being actively involved from the beginning (birth). Hold your daughter. Carry her. Change her diapers. You can’t expect to develop a bond between yourself and your child if you don’t make the effort to create it.
Not getting involved because you think you’re unprepared. Considering that you’ve already had experience with females thanks to your mother/ sister/ wife, you’re not as unprepared as you think you are, so relax.
Distancing yourself from her as she grows older. Girls become women. They change physically. It’s a fact of life, get used to it. Yes, puberty is uncomfortable for everyone involved, but denying it or ignoring it – or worse, ignoring her - just makes things worse. Nobody’s suggesting that you chat with your daughter about the details of her menstrual cycle, but it’d be a lot more helpful if you grabbed the Tylenol and handed her a hot water bottle instead of walking straight past her when you clearly know that she’s in pain. This is just one example of fathers’ denial about their daughters growing up; in truth, there are many ways that fathers demonstrate distance from their daughters.
Having little to no physical contact. The idea that hugging, kissing, or having any other positive physical contact with your daughter is “wrong” or “not manly” is absolutely ridiculous. Not only that, but it’s extremely harmful to your daughter’s development as she grows older. Whether your daughter is five or fifteen, both of you should be comfortable enough to turn to each other for a hug (that lasts longer than five seconds) at any time.
Little to no emotional communication. “Pass the salt” does not qualify as real communication. Make an effort to be involved in your daughter’s everyday life, whether it has to do with school and friends or just how she’s feeling on any given day. Building this bond will create a feeling of security and trust, and your daughter should be able to turn to you for help at times of emotional hurt and conflict.
Not expressing pride in their daughters. Girls crave their father’s praise and approval just as much as boys do. Nothing can thrill a daughter more than knowing that her father sees his own good qualities in her, that he is really and truly proud of her and her accomplishments.
The greatest, most perfect example of father-daughter relationships can be found in the history of Islam. Has there ever been a father more devoted, a daughter more adoring, than our beloved Messenger (sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) and Sayyidah Faatimah az-Zahraa’ (radhiAllahu anha)?

We all know the stories:

Young Faatimah, scarcely ten years old, wiping filth off of her father’s back and furiously berating the leaders of Quraysh for their behaviour.

Faatimah, who used to weep at the sight of dust that was thrown upon her father’s head, and would be comforted with the words “Do not cry, my daughter, for Allah shall protect your father!”

Faatimah, the apple of her father’s eye, of whom he said: “Whoever pleased Fatimah has indeed pleased God and whoever has caused her to be angry has indeed angered God. Fatimah is a part of me. Whatever pleases her pleases me and whatever angers her angers me." (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3437; Muslim, 4483)

Noble Faatimah, one of the four greatest women in the world: "The best women in all the world are four: the Virgin Mary, Aasiyaa the wife of Pharoah, Khadijah Mother of the Believers, and Fatimah, daughter of Muhammad."

Faatimah, of whom A’isha (radhiAllahu anha) commented, “I have not seen any one of God's creation resemble the Messenger of God more in speech, conversation and manner of sitting than Fatimah, may God be pleased with her. When the Prophet saw her approaching, he would welcome her, stand up and kiss her, take her by the hand and sit her down in the place where he was sitting."

The entire Muslim Ummah has benefited directly from this unique father-daughter relationship. How many lessons have been derived from the Seerah, from incidents pertaining to this father and to this daughter?! How much knowledge, how much wisdom, was transmitted from father to daughter, and from that daughter to her own sons, al-Hassan and al-Hussein (radhiAllahu anhum)?! Yaa subhanAllah! How can we ever belittle, neglect, forget the importance of such a bond?

O Muslim fathers, will you follow in the footsteps of the Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ‘alayi wa sallam)? Will you do what you can to help your daughter become the Faatimah az-Zahraa’ of today?

Or will you keep ignoring her, neglecting her, passing her off to ‘womanly influences’? And in the process, compromise, minimize, and even destroy the potential of someone who could become the next Maryam, Aasiyah, Khadijah, or Faatimah?

O Muslim men… be men! Be fathers. Be fathers of the greatest Muslim women this Ummah has ever known!

Blah Blah Blah

I know, I know…I know I haven’t blogged for a while now. And that isn’t really my fault, I am not going to come up with some made up excuse, instead I might as well tell you why I haven’t blogged for a while now. Blame school! Besides it hasn’t been really too long since I last posted something here, it’s only been almost 2 weeks. So no biggy.

Back to the subject, ‘school’, my final year at sixth form, my final year of actual high school life, my final year of my A-levels, my final year of college and my final year in the building that I have spent about 7 years in. (Just to let you know when I say ‘final year’ I mean from September 2009 to June 2010).

Ahh, thinking of it makes me want to run around. But I have to admit that I’m deeply going to miss this school when I’ve left, with held memories. Other than that this year has probably been one of the worse years so far, mostly because everything seems full of frustration and promptness. Applying for uni’s, writing personal statements, getting references, getting work experience placements, trying extremely hard in exams/studies, trying hard in getting tops in coursework’s, deadlines to be met, sister’s wedding plans, driving lessons, trying to get my book at least quarter way through…blah blah blah. But right now what’s standing out most for me is the upcoming exams in January and how I’m going to reach to that stage, for a starter I think I have put on a self fulfilling prophecy by believing that there is no way I’m going to pass my Sociology exam in January. And I pick on my sociology subject mostly because since being back at school at the starting of September I haven’t learnt a single thing, I haven’t had a teacher to teach me and my sociology class and we are not going to be getting a sociology teacher until after the one week half term. So I’ve decided to use my EMA money and buy some text books and learn myself, regardless of if there will be some stuff that I might not understand, I’m better at learning when discussing sociology topics with someone, rather than just reading out of a text book and then forgetting everything that I’ve just read the next five minutes. So I’m a verbal learner.

Although the sixth form head manager has told us that we will be having a official sociology teacher after that half term…but what’s the point then, we will only half 1 month and a half to prepare and learn the topics we were meant to be doing before 18^th December, because then there will come the Christmas holidays! – More joy!

Ok next topic, ‘university’…I have no idea why I am applying for uni when I believe that I have such a small percentage of actually getting in. – such a low lack of self confident! Also I will be crazily applying for uni’s that are out of my area; in another city…therefore I will be living ALONE! Without my mummy, how will I cope?! (calms down) well that’s only if my parents are ok with me moving away…the only thing that I really want to do is this amazing course that is opened for Muslim girls, where we learn Islamic science, grammar in Arabic, the history of Islam and learn parts of the Quran. I think it’s fantastic…but it’s in Nottingham which is about an hour and a half drive away from home, the even better thing about this course is that I can get into teaching – a goal to my dream and I get a degree – a goal to my parents dream.

And oh yeah, talking above moving away…OMG! I’m going to Belfast! Away from home for 3 days for the first time ever…ahhhh, whooo!

Its part of enrichment that I’m taking part in at school, something called ‘Via Media’, it’s pretty cool. Learnt the history of Palestine and Israel, learnt about so called Extremism and Terrorism, found it quiet interesting. Anyway…the most shocking thing is that I couldn’t believe that my parents agreed to let me go to Belfast. There will definitely be a blog about this, I don’t know when I will be going yet though, I assume sometime in November.

At least that’s something to be told as good news.