THOUGHTS 4 GOOD

Virtues of Fasting

2011-08-20T15:23:00.004+01:00

The reward for fasting is immense, as mentioned in the following Hadeeth: “Every action of the son of Adam is given manifold reward, each good deed receiving ten times its like, up to seven hundred times. Allah the Most High said, ‘Except for fasting, for it is for Me and I will give recompense for it, he leaves off his desires and his food for Me.’ for the fasting person there are two times of joy; a time when he breaks his fast and a time of joy when he meets his Lord, and the smell coming from the mouth of the fasting person is better with Allah than the smell of musk.” [al-Bukhaaree]

Also, Sahl ibn Sa’ said that the Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “Indeed there is a gate of Paradise called ar-Rayyaan. On the day of Resurrection those who fast will enter through it; no one enters it except for them, and when they have entered, it is closed so that no one enters it, so when the last of them enters it, it is closed, and whoever enters it drinks, and whoever drinks never becomes thirsty.” [Ibn Khuzaimah, Saheeh].

Fasting is a shield against the Fire: “Fasting is a shield with which a servant protects himself from the Fire.” [Ahmad, Saheeh] and his saying (saws) “No servant fasts on a day in the path of Allah except that Allah removes the hellfire seventy years further from his face.” [related by the group except for Abu Dawood]

On the Day of Judgement, “Fasting will say: O My Lord I prevented him from food and desires so accept my intercession for him.” [Ahmad, al-Haakim and Abu Nu’aim, Hasan]

Fasting is a means for one’s sins to be forgiven. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “He who fasts Ramadhan, due to Iman and hoping for reward (from Allah) then his past sins are forgiven.” [al-Bukhaaree, Muslim]

Fasting is an expiation for various sins, as mentioned in the Qur’aan, in verses: 2:196, 4:92, 5:89, 5:95 and 58:3-4.

The supplication of the fasting person is answered: “There are in the month of Ramadhan in every day and night those to whom Allah grants freedom from the Fire, and there is for every Muslim a supplication which he can make and will be granted.” [al-Bazzaar, Ahmad, Saheeh]

The fasting person will be among the true followers of the prophets and the martyrs: ‘Amr ibn Murrah al-Juhaanee r.a.a. said: A man came to the Prophet (s.a.w.) and said: O Messenger of Allah, what if I testify that none has the right to be worshipped but Allah and that you are the Messenger of Allah, and I observe the five daily prayers, and I pay the zakaah, and I fast and stand in prayer in Ramadhan, then amongst whom shall I be? He said: Amongst the true followers of the prophets and the martyrs. [Ibn Hibbaan, Saheeh]

Fasting is a shield against one’s base desires, as the Prophet (s.a.w.) told the youth: “O youths, whoever amongst you is able to marry then let him do so, since it restrains the eyes and protects the private parts, and he who is unable, then let him fast because it is a shield for him.” [al-Bukhaaree, Muslim]

Once we realize the greatness of fasting and what achievement it leads to, we must put all our efforts in performing the fast in the best manner possible. And since fasting is worship, it must be done solely for Allah’s sake, and no intention is accepted, other than pleasing Allah and seeking His Face with all one’s sincerity. Without a correct intention, no deed is of any value in the Hereafter.

We Muslims must constantly verify our intentions and consider why we perform fasting. Do we do so merely because it is the practice of our parents and friends, or do we do so because it is part of our tradition, or perhaps because we simply want to conform to our environment in order to avoid any problems? A Muslim who realizes that only that which is with Allah remains, and that He (swt) is the only One who grants and withholds, would not be of those to which the Prophet (s.a.w.) alluded in the Hadeeth: “On the Day of Judgement, a caller will cry out, ‘Whoever performed a deed for someone other than Allah may seek his reward from that for which he performed the deed’” [Saheeh al-Jami].

Seal of the Prophets

2011-01-01T23:21:00.003Z

12^th Rabi’ Al-Awwal, year of 570 AD
When someone special was born, a Prophet to be
His grandfather Abdul Muttalib named him Muhammad, someone to praise
And that was the day when the idols fell to their face
He was born in Makkah, a much sacred place
His father Abdullah in Yathrib had already passed away
Alone he stayed with Aminah until sometime later
No one knew that this child was to grow up to be someone greater

Haalima Sadia his foster mother gave him nurture and care
What did she know, that in her heart his love would always be there
At the age of six, he returned to his dear mother
Then Aminah had passed away in Abwa, and he had no other
Abdul Muttalib decided to take Muhammad as his own
Only to realise that this boy was never alone
When The Holy Prophet turned eight, his grandfather died
His uncle, Abu Taalib had then decided to be his new guide

At the age of ten he started to take care of other people’s herds
The light of his face, Al-Sadique and Al-Amin were his spoken words
Lady Khadijah at age 40, by Muhammad’s strong character she was impressed
She became the bride of the twenty five years of age Messenger and was blessed
She gave away all her wealth to those in need
She gifted Muhammad, slave boy Zaid ibn Haaritha, who he freed
It wasn’t until ten years later that the Ka’aba was rebuilt
And to this day it is covered with a black and gold quilt

Cave Hira was the place where The Prophet worshipped Allah in secret
It was here that the meaning of life he tried to interpret
One day he heard a strange loud noise that made him heed
Angel Jibrail revealed the first revelation and told him to read
Muhammad couldn’t until he was embraced thrice by Jibrail
Then he said “Iqra”, the words he began to feel
“Read in the name of thy Lord! Who created man from a clot of blood”
This was it, this was when it begun – The Prophethood

Frightened and shaken he rushed on the pathway to home
Said “Zamilooni” to Khadijah, “Wrap me and keep me warm”
He told her of what had took place
She believed every word, and was first to accept Islam by Allah’s grace
For the next 23 years Islam was preached to all humankind
Some had accepted Islam, something unaccepted to find
But many people of Makkah hated this declaration
And subjected Muslims to abuse and misinformation

Still the number of Muslims continued to grow
And then came the year of Sorrow
A kind, generous and supportive uncle was no longer alive
Khadijah later passed away, a trustworthy and loyal wife
10^th year of Prophethood a miracle was presented
Yet the disbelievers misinterpreted
The moon split in two halves for everyone to see
Foolishly, the idolaters refused to agree

The Holy Prophet went on the Buraaq from Jerusalem
It was 27^th of the month of Rajab – Mi’raj-un-Nabee - Journey to the heavens
Allah Almighty granted a gift of five daily prayers to Muhammad
The Seal of the Prophets and he is Ahmed
In Yathrib Islam started to spread faster
Some Muslims emigrated to Yathrib just after
The idolaters wanted The Holy Prophet Muhammad dead and became hostile
In the 13^th year of Prophethood he entered Madinah with Abu Bakr by his side

The Ansaaris welcomed the Muslims and chanted welcoming poem, melodiously
Where his she camel rested was where Masjid Nabavi was built, successfully
Later on many battles faced the Muslim Ummah
Battle of Badr, Uhud, Trench, Khaybar, Hunain, Tabook and Mota
360 idols fell to the ground and Makkah was conquered
Muhammad knew that his time was near when Surah An-Nasr was discovered
His last speech at age 63 was given to humankind
One quarter of the world today follow Islam, The Holy Qur’an and The Sunnah he has left behind

May Allah (swt) be pleased with all the companions of The Holy Prophet, and Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon Muhammad, the final Messenger of Allah (swt).

Written By Neelam Ahmed

Do Angels Cry For Pakistan?

2010-08-25T15:46:00.002+01:00

Unforgiveable

2010-08-24T17:12:00.004+01:00

She laid still and quiet on spikes of grass, surrounded by yellow pale daffodil’s, only hearing the twittering of the birds and the crisp of bell pepper leaves. The sun casted its final shadows on her delicate and fragile cold body, while her mind spun gradually with flashes of images and thoughts of contrast to her reality. Her well worn fast beat to the heart turned slower. She stared directly at the gloomy overcast sky with unblinking almond eyes and dirt smudged across her face.

Suddenly with the flicker of her eyes, she turned gently to her right side and came into contact with the moonlit light. Her face showered itself with the full moon, the same moon she had come into contact with when she was a little girl. Like the ticking arm of the clock, her mind swam into unanswered questions and possibilities of life.

Sweat trickled in the middle of her palms with a simple question of forgiveness sparking in her mind. A voice in the distance yelled for her name, yet she laid facing the moon and ignoring the deep thick voice. It was only her, who trusted him with her beauty and grace. She saw him differently, more than the man he thought himself to be. She sacrificed what she could for him, she was his life…and now she is gone.

The thick voice in the distance turned louder and louder, she placed her ear against the soil with spikes of grass tickling her ear. The sound of thumping feet hurt her heart, like stabs of wounds easing through the veins within the heart. She forced her eyes shut, and wished to vanish forever. The wind blew strands of her hair that cling to her rose cold wet cheeks.

He had failed her and there was nothing that could change this…because he is unforgiveable...because life without 'passion' is unforgiveable.

Written By Neelam Ahmed

Born In Gaza

2010-05-14T16:38:00.000+01:00

Death Came Knocking On My Door By Aaqib Ahmed

2010-03-26T19:26:00.001Z

LOST IN IDENTITY

2010-01-30T20:27:00.006Z

When I was younger people on occasion asked my mother if she had picked the wrong baby from the hospital. My round chubby face, light plain skin, blushed cheeks, silky hair and the eyes – kind of oriental eyes, the way Chinese eyes are. When I got older into my teens and still now people question if I am Arabic. Yet I didn’t know what it was that could make me seem or look that way. There came a point where I questioned what my identity was?

When people look at you, what is it that you want them to see?
What do you consider your identity to be?
Your Religion? Your Culture? Your Gender? Your Nationality?
Or is it Your Ethnicity? Your Occupation? Your Colour? Your Personality?
Or then again it could be Your Looks? Your School? And Your Family?
And if all, which one is first and which one last, finally?

At some points I found a deep connection and unity with others who had similar identities to mine. Yet I had no idea what a real identity was, can it be more than one thing or does it have to be just one thing? At other times I felt a distance and disconnection with other people’s identities. I speculated if my inability to define my identity was having a negative effect on my life. As I mentored Muslim youths, some of these youths appeared to have similar feelings and views to mine.

I instituted that many ‘ethnic minorities’ established themselves fixed between two different types of cultures, usually the British culture and another culture of their own. Perhaps this was because of the different food, different clothes, different celebrations, different ways of speaking (different language), different attitudes, different motivations etc. Is this an abnormal thing or normal?

The place I have been born and brought up in has always been a mixed place with different ethnic groups, different people of colour, different religions and people with different social factors. Although oddly and usually at the same time, the people who reflect your identity will be those you are more likely to be with, e.g. at school I always see the same ethnic groups huddled together. This can be outside shops, on the streets generally, your work place or at your school/college/university.

Your friends are more probable to have the same or similar identity to your own.

I looked for a very long time and frequently found myself speculating with whom I am and how others portray themselves to be. So I was determined to talk to my mentees on what they thought or believed their identity to be?

Under Which Category Are You? – ‘Are You below Average?’
Some of them didn’t seem to know who they really were or in what sort of position and category they belonged to be. Some said that they felt as though they were viewed as being ‘below average’. So I asked them to tell me what comes to their mind when I say the word ‘identity’. These were the words they had listed for me: Religion, Personality, Ethnicity, Culture, Family, Nationality, Occupation, Gender, School, Colour, Country, Friends and Looks. I was proud of what they listed for me, especially because they had realised and were aware that they should know their identity and were interested to go thinking and questioning on it.

When I looked at those words, I thought to myself, ‘how could all of these be put into one word - identity’. Could identity be just one thing or could it be lots of things? My next step was to try and find out which one of these words from their list they thought was first in their identity and which one last. So I asked them to write down from the most important to the least important with a reason on why they thought that.

Since most of them already found themselves fixed between two types of cultures they suggested that culture could not be a fraction of the highest part of identity. So they put that aside as being the highest part of their identity.
They tried to establish nationality which is British most of them but not all. Most of them questioned if they were actually British or other? Just because of being born and raised in a Western place or having to inherit the Western nationality, did that mean their ways have to be traditional western too? They claimed that they didn’t feel British nor did they feel that they belonged under the British nationality. This was put aside too.
Ethnicity - this was a difficult one. Some of them didn’t know what to say about it. Some thought that ethnicity had the same views of culture that we had talked about previously. I found that the meaning of ethnicity is ‘where someone belongs to a group that shares the same characteristics, such as country of origin, language, religion, ancestry and culture. Therefore ethnicity is a matter of biological and historical fact and is not changed by the culture in which a person grows up’. When I mentioned this definition it put complexity into their ethnicity. Therefore they found it anomalous to put ethnicity as a first thing on their identity. Yet it is still part of the identity.

I found it odd on why some of them had put ‘school’ and ‘friends’ down as being part of identity. When I asked why this was the reply: “That’s because I spend more of my proper day time at school than anywhere else and because friends are part of school, it kind of puts the two together”. When I asked the same about family, this was the reply: “Well I wouldn’t put family as the highest part of my identity; even though they have similarities with my identity…my time spent with them is less, sometimes not at all”. I found that there were mostly personal reasons on why ‘family’ wasn’t put as the first thing on their identity list.

When it came to ‘colour and looks’ many of the youths had various opinions. Some said that it was highly important and when someone looks at you they always look at you by your skin colour or the way you look. One of the boys said this: “I know colour is an important thing in people’s minds, yet people won’t show it because they are afraid of racial offenses. But come on…everyone probably has a racial side to themselves where they might think negatively or positively towards someone’s skin colour…it’s either in conscious or unconscious, but it’s still there!” I asked a girl on why she thought that colour was important as she agreed, this was her reply: “Just from experience, like when filling out forms for jobs and that or other forms for like driving lessons or for a passport or whatever…they always ask you for your ethnicity, and most likely when they ask you this they are going to be wanting to know your colour at the same time, you get me. Like if I go and tick a box on a forum saying that my ethnicity is African-Caribbean…obviously they are going know that I’m black or if I go ticking a box saying that I’m Pakistani then they are going to know that I’m brown”. Even though they all found that colour was important, they didn’t think it was important enough to be put as the highest form of identity because they found that it was just a social factor, not something inside them.

Gender also had its resemblance; all of them thought it was important just as colour is important. However some of them thought that gender isn’t as important as it used to be in the old times. I asked why and this was the reply: “Gender was more important back in the days, same with age really…like with women, they weren’t really allowed jobs, not proper jobs anyway, and most of them were just housewives. Plus even in schools girls and boys had separate subjects taught to them, like the males were more likely to go on and do wood work (D.T) or sports or I.T, like technical stuff. And the females went and did textiles, like sewing and that or they learnt about doing the washing up…actually this still happens in today’s world, in this school. But there is some equality now…mostly because the law has changed in the past decade”.

Finally we came to our final identity part – Religion. All of them had told me that religion was definitely part of their identity and I could see certainty in all of their eyes. I asked why they were so sure that religion was part of their identity. No one said anything. Instead most of them lost eye contact with me and looked away or just stared at the ground or fiddled with their hands. I paused for a while thinking that maybe they need to think and that I needed to give them some space. After a minute or two I asked again and one of the girls said: “I don’t know…just because it’s a way of living init”. At this point I could tell that they had lots of opinions and views in their mind but yet none of them were telling me clearly. Were them embarrassed, uncomfortable or shy of their views?

Consequently I was pushed to pick on one of them. When I asked one of the girls who kept making eye contact with me on why she thought that religion was surely part of the identity, this was her reply after a short while: “To me…well…religion is just a way of living. Islam is like ermm all around. Like it’s in my heart and mind, everything that is done is done so in an Islamic way”. I asked her to expand a little bit more on how everything is done accordingly to Islam. She replied with this: “Like when you eat, you eat the way Islam has told you to eat, when you go to sleep, when you wake up, when you leave the house, when you enter the house, when you look in the mirror, when you leave for a journey…” One of the boys stopped her from talking and carried it on for her. “Yeah yeah, like just everything you do is done the way Islam tells you to do it init. Like even walking up the stairs and coming down the stairs we gotta say a prayer, before drinking water we recite a small prayer…even when sneezing or yawning…there are many thing. So Islam is like part of everyday life and like she just said it’s in the heart and mind. And if it’s like that then it can’t be taken out no matter what. It’s like tattooed to the body, you get me!”

Once the two of them had given their views on why religion was 100% part of the identity, more of them had started to include their views into it. At this point I felt that they felt comforted by having this discussion, like most of them had so many views in their mind but it was blinded out because no one had asked them or talked about religion with them. After we had discussed the importance of religion and why it was put as their identity I asked why some of them looked like they were unwilling to answer when I had brought up the questions on religion, this is what one of the boy said without hesitation: “You know like this world…it pulls you down sometimes, especially on who you are. Like I’m Muslim but like from what the media has injected into everyone’s mind these days makes me feel bad for who I am…a little”. I found that most of them had the same feelings and views and they had said that society has changed over time. Before I spoke one of the girls said this: “Just because society and the world has changed and just because the media portrays Muslims as bad most of the time, that doesn’t mean that Islam has changed and that we got to go believing in the crap that the media puts out to us…stupidly people go looking at Muslims instead of looking at Islam! Really” The other members were quiet surprised with what this girl had just said, and so was I quiet surprised honestly. Although most of all I was proud of them all and had got them thinking about their identity, including religion. I suggested that some of them needed time and lots of thinking to do. So I left it to that.

What your identity holds first?
Two days later I met up with the group again and asked the final question on what they supposed that their identity held first, all of them replied with ‘religion’ and ‘Islam’. Some of them even said that nothing else was held in their identity and it was just Islam!

We had our final discussion on identity and Islam and there were many views yet to come from these youths so I let them discuss and talk about it more. All of them had clearly stated that everything else in their identity had some conflicts and splits. However Islam united them all together and there weren’t any conflicts to be seen.

“Do not divided among yourselves. And remember Allah's favor on you, for you were enemies and He joined your hearts together, so that by His Grace, you became brethren (in Islamic Faith), and you were on the brink of a Pit of Fire, and He saved you from it. Thus Allah makes His Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.,) clear to you, that you may be guided."

"And be not as those who divided and differed among themselves after the clear proofs had come to them. It is they for whom there is an awful torment."
(Surat Al-Emran, Verse 103 and 105)

Written By Neelam Ahmed

Cancerous – 6 Years On

2010-01-03T14:05:00.003Z

Cancerous – 6 Years On

Been a while now since I haven’t been far away, didn’t know why and didn’t care to try
Put that smile on my face when mama talked to me about the adventures she’d been to
They interrupted when they came in with their suits
Told her something that turned her face so grey
“What’s the matter mummy, why won’t you look at me?”
“Nothing Neelo baby I just gotta go make myself some tea”
Too many people here under the weather
Trying to stay awake while in their beds
Alone that night with needles in my hands and arms
And a machine beside me that wouldn’t stop beeping
It kept me up all night from sleeping
Too many pills, injections and equipment
This nurse now was starting to make me sick
“Cant I just go home now?”
“Naw, you can’t cos’ you’re not allowed”
The next time they came and took my mummy away I followed sneakily
To place my ear against the door and hear a cry
What are they saying? All I hear is the words ‘fighting’, ‘trying’, ‘spreading’ and ‘dying’
What’s this new word I hear? Something that sounds like ‘Leukaemia’ – mia – mia

Damn this, I feel like running far away to nowhere
Because this world is strange and staying alive isn’t fair
Need more air this room feels too tight
Even better everyone is here now without an invite
Aunts, uncles and cousins from across the world
They can’t be here just to see me
You stand a meter away from me like I’m some alien
Whisper things thinking I can’t here, so what I’m cancerous?
Not like it’s gonna be getting to y’all within a sneeze
Instead of making me better, this all is making me more ill
A low percentage of living isn’t something to worry about
Maybe it’s a good thing because now I won’t get any shouts
Made a gracious new friend across my room that day
She called me over every night to her bedside to play puzzles and to pass time away
She got what I got, she talks of how long she been here
And how much it hurts when she can’t live like a normal girl
“Walk to school in hand to hand, stuff your face in whatever you like, let the sun soak into the skin and the wind blow your hair”
Those were the normal days
I thought to go by her bed to share some chips on that Sunday
She slept motionless even when I quaked
Her mother sobbed while they took her away
What does this all say about me? Will I not succeed?

Some familiar faces disappearing slowly
That night I put my hands together to say a pray
“Oh Allah, if I don’t wake the next day, make sure that my loved ones stay safe”
Later on nine weeks went by and I couldn’t see anything
Dreamt weird things like they were trying to tell me something
Felt way too much pain but couldn’t get myself to scream
Everything was on fire and I could hear mumbles of prayers
‘Please don’t go planning a funeral for me
Because it’s something that you all won’t need
I will come out of this and you will see
See how I am a fighter and how strong I can be’
I said to myself without my mouth speaking and without anyone hearing
I wish to see someone’s face and to feel someone’s touch
I can’t stay on this life support because it’s all mistaken
And it’s not doing anything but making me ill
Flesh peeling is making my body itch
Tape over my eyes is hurting with ablaze
Maybe I’ve gone blind and that was the reason for their stupid tape
I’m not dead just yet; I’m just hanging of the chain arc
That’s attached to the ship
Just grab my hand and help me out of this mad sea
But wait a little longer, because now there is something I see
Something below this sea, oh how beautiful this is glimmering my eyes
It disappears and I wish it would come back; maybe that under world isn’t so bad

Six years on and I’m just fine
Got a job and studying full time
Just living with these memories of such pain and signs
I keep within me that beautiful thing that glimmered my eyes
Trying to picture it all in my mind
Even though those deep dreams and memories are clearly remembered
And those words that the docs said
Sometimes it still feels like its living in me in the red
At times my fam would tell me that they lost me for a short while
And about how at times I got violent, bad and crazy
But shush now because I don’t like to hear about it
You tell me what you saw and heard
But you never asked me how I felt and how I saw it all
I hope that none of my loved ones go through this
So it don’t matter that I missed half of my childhood life
It don’t mean that I didn’t catch up much easily as you
So they say all is ok now from outside, but what about the inside?
Oh Lord, what’s this new thing that I hear?
(Sigh) maybe this thing does pass about
My guardian can’t have got it
He isn’t meant to go through with this
Even though it’s not all the same
But still it has to be the same shame of blame!

Being a prisoner in your own mind you don’t need
Your heart telling you to keep fighting for your life – fighter
Fulfil your goals and dreams
Believe things will get much better – believe yourself
Just because you’re going through this
It don’t mean that you got to quit – please don’t quit
Have patience for the pain
And you never know a miracle might be yourself – a miracle
Stay much stronger and don’t give up
Because you don’t really want your life to break itself – right?

Written By Neelam Ahmed

Oh Allah I thank You for giving me life, for maybe giving me another chance in life. I thank You for keeping my loved ones safe. I thank You for helping my family and friends help me go through my past. And I thank You for what You have given me today.

A Nobody Girl

2009-12-31T18:28:00.003Z

A Nobody Girl

Here five days a week
6 hours a day, enough at least to preach
Just trying to get my mouth to speak
They think it’s something cool
When they break the rules like fools
With a cigarette in the hand instead of a pen
And something new planned in their minds once again
Straws with spit balls thrown at one another
“What up brutha from the utha’ mutha’?”
Lockers clacking at the sound of keys
And footsteps shuffling, only if they please
Jeans hanging half way down back sides
This is starting to become accustomed to inside
Faces painted with makeup
Some are hardly fully woken up
These ‘girls’ know how to get attention
To know the real people you gotta know the new generation

Pass by familiar faces with different races
Ethnic groups are huddled together
Some wearing the same jackets, made out of leather
To symbolise who they are known to be
Just go along with this all but don’t tell them that you disagree
There the bell goes making me step back once more
Now gotta head for that open door
In front of me knuckles hitting knuckles showing the sign of respect
Making me jump, that’s always something to expect
Walk in and there you will see
Nothing but people being themselves, maybe
“Yo teacha wah mah lesson today?”
Maybe she didn’t hear what the he say
Gum wrapping around their fingers
This all isn’t something asked for
Especially when dressed in this painful uniform

Forget the world for a while and don’t bother with the norm
Mobile phones pumping the beats of music
My timetable shows that this is meant to be physics
Papers being flickered about
And there the teacher shouts
Two lads got into a fight
With punches thrown and now this room feels tight
Over hearing the ‘she said – he said’ gossip
Damn, this period I should have just skip
Throw my head into my palms
Take a deep breath and just stay calm
Another hour will be put at waste
I wish my parents put me in another place
I wasn’t asked if I wanted to be here
But ‘it’s okay’, time will fly by and for now fight back your own tear
And next lesson will be all about ‘Romeo and Juliet’ or maybe ‘Macbeth’
This isn’t right in this stuffy atmosphere
And they say that these are meant to be the best years

In this place everywhere are familiar faces
Where you know they are from different places
With different ethnic groups and different features
This includes the so called teachers
Some will pull out a smile at you
And some will just growl at you
Hide my face and wish that tomorrow will be different
Maybe it will be better if I went absent
Some eyes I’ve seen are full of pain
Should I ask why or should I ignore with something to change?
Those with their heavy makeup and crazy clothes
Get their stares with eyes rolling from head to toe
They all shove by like they are gonna miss something once in a life time
One in four teens likely to be a criminal victim
Instead of looking for reasons it hits the media dictum

For me daily this world is something new
Maybe I’m different, maybe I’m not like you
Sniffing pot in the toilets and smoking at the bus stop
It’s making them receive attention and get to the top
You want me to change so I can belong
But 'no', I would rather stay individual than stick to your wrong
It don’t matter to me if you look at me and think ‘a nobody girl’
Because at the end of the day it’s what I am, just a schoolgirl
God made you, as well as me, this means I must be something
The world is a lie and if I must be nothing
For you to see it then so let it be it!

Written by Neelam Ahmed

Productive Muslim!

2009-12-31T10:24:00.001Z

Long Live Palestine

2009-12-26T11:57:00.002Z

Christmas and Muslims

2009-12-24T18:05:00.010Z

Being born and brought up in a Western place can be sometimes difficult for someone who enters a Western place from a non Western country. For example, being a Muslim and coming into a place where Muslims are known as an ethnic minority. Most Muslims have to put up with the non Muslim ways and the whole Western style culture which includes the way of living.

I have a slight vivid memory of my childhood, especially when the days of Christmas came closer. I have missed some parts of my childhood and sometimes there are some things in my childhood that I remember clearly, even though they aren’t extremely important, and other memories are vague, even though for some reason I know they are important. I remember at the time when I was diagnosed with Cancer (leukaemia). When it would come close to breaking up for the two week holidays for Christmas, a tall decorated tree would stand in the hall with glimmering lights. And even at the hospital the nurses would be dressed all ‘Christmassy’ with their Santa hats or with elve ears and a day before Christmas Santa Clause would actually come to your bedside to give you a present.

I’m not quite sure who I am, so I will just say that I am a ‘Muslim British Female’, even though my background is Pakistani (there will be another blog topic post soon on ‘who I am?’ and it could be on something that you can relate to for your 'identity'). Anyway I didn’t really know what Christmas was all about, even whilst being a child I didn’t have a clue, to me it just seemed like a time where people would have fun and give presents to each other. I have no idea where the whole ‘Santa Clause’ theory is from or what exactly does a ‘tree’ have to do with Christmas or from the time Jesus was in this world. From attending a primary school that is known to be a Church of England School, therefore it’s a Catholic and Reformed school I eventually learnt that Christmas is celebrated for the birth of Jesus.

I knew that Muslims also believe in Jesus, but they do not celebrate Christmas and they believe that Jesus will one day return to Earth. The more I have been learning about Islam the more I have I learnt to be respectful and tolerant towards other religions, especially Christians as Christianity is the most common religion in England and the area I live in. Plus from having known many non Muslims and being brought up with a mixture of ethnic groups. I’m not quite sure if this has been a good thing for me as being a Muslim girl or a not so good thing for my present and future.

When I look at the way Christmas is celebrated nowadays and who celebrates Christmas exactly, it is hardly or nothing to do with religion, well for the majority at least. Sitting at the back corner of my religious studies class and the ‘non-believer’ girls talking about how they have to do Christmas shopping and how they have put up their Christmas tree made me question them. Yet they aren’t Christians, in fact they don’t believe in Jesus or have any faith in God, but yet they and their families celebrate Christmas like it’s just a normal fun thing. These were the words that a non-believer said to me when I asked ‘why do you celebrate Christmas when you are not a Christian?’ The reply was, ‘I celebrate it because it’s normal and its fun…even though I’m not a Christian it doesn’t mean that I can’t celebrate Christmas’– fair enough!

Maybe the media was to do with this publicity building up towards Christmas and putting it into everyone’s minds that anyone can celebrate Christmas if they wanted to, with the whole Christmassy movies, adverts, game shows, programmes, soaps, songs/music etc. There is very little focus on the great characteristics of Jesus and what we can all learn from his life.

Maybe those who don’t celebrate Christmas make their own fun out of it like my sister for example. She likes Christmas and she likes it only for a couple of reasons. Not for the whole Santa Clause or the tree or the presents and that. Instead she likes Christmas for the things they put on sale or offer at shops. She also likes it for the amount of movies they put on TV that she can record and watch and of course the holiday she gets off school.

The reality is that Christians and Muslim have lived in peaceful co-existence for centuries throughout the world. Even though Muslims and Christians share similar roots of history, there are still those perspectives that separate us. Like Muslims believe in the last and final prophet Mohammad (pbuh), Muslims believe that Jesus will return, that Jesus was a great prophet, they believe in the holy book Quran etc. Whereas Christianity believes that Jesus was God, he was God’s son; he died for all of our sins, they believe in the holy book Bible (there are many versions of the bible, e.g. The New Testament).

Even though I and my family do not celebrate Christmas, we do actually celebrate and cherish Jesus' birht and his life on Earth by truly loving him and trying to demonstrate his characteristics in my own life.

Dear No One

2009-12-18T19:26:00.010Z

Dear No One,

Today was just a day like any other ordinary day. On the way to school the pathways, roads, house roof tops, trees and cars were covered in snow. Everything was dead and silent. The atmosphere didn’t feel the same and nor did she feel the same. Snow crushed beneath her feet and she was afraid that she would slip and fall on her bottom, so she walked at a slow paste. The trees stood still and didn’t wave their twigs or leaves to greet her the way they normally do, also the birds didn’t squeak to welcome her to another day.

There are many memories that come and go and then come again to repeat themselves. Memories of the times when she was placed in St. James hospital over something she didn’t even understand until 2 years later. The memories of when she would stand at her bedroom window and watch the rain drops splashing against the concrete floor. The memories of when most people in her school year group were shaken to hear the death of a close friend. The time when they moved into a new home and they almost had the whole neighbourhood helping them shift things. The remembrance of when her family and she went to the centre of the Earth after finishing a life threatening treatment. And not to mention the memory and smell of her homeland, Pakistan, where they had the craziest times flying kites every day and having a competition with her grandmothers opposite neighbours for two whole weeks.
Although there was something’s that she didn’t only remember clearly, but had stuck in her heart like a tattoo glued to the skin. A particular someone!

In class the other day her and her class watched a video concerning relationships influences. It showed a mothers attachment with her baby and the baby’s attachment with the mother. This part put her at a weird and wonderful feeling, in a good and bad way. Watching the mother and baby cuddling each other was wonderful. But thinking of reality and those who don’t have a baby or mother to cuddle gave her the weird side of feeling. It also showed the sort of relationship between a husband and wife and the sort of attachment and relationship between two loved ones. It came to a part where a woman spoke about her opinions on relationships, she talked of how having a loving strong relation can affect everyone around her and how loving relationships can also fall down the wrong side, from being too right to just being too wrong. She came onto saying, “Sometimes promises between two loving people mean nothing at all”. At that point she completely froze. Bones turned stiff, heart swollen, throat dry and her palms turned sweaty. She carried on staring at the ‘smart board’ where the video was being played, yet she wasn’t watching it but still staring. I swear she hadn’t blinked for over a minute at that point.

Everyone says that things get better in time and it heals the bad. But she doesn’t believe that. She missed the best times that mostly went on between the years 2006 and 2008. I was happy and my exam grades were satisfying, oddly. Perhaps because she didn’t believe that she would do okay in her exams and that she sucked at almost everything, low self esteem. But it wasn’t like that at all; she wasn’t really the moody, bad tempered and crazy teen. She had her friends, family, she was socially active and she communicated quiet well with others. Things were easy peasy like lemon squeezy. She was a normal girl.

Things changed. Just like they said it would. The world isn’t the same no more. At times she’s angry at herself and other times it’s hard to swallow. Fighting back tears and not facing others. She knows for sure that time isn’t going to heal anything and the upcoming months are just going to get worse. Media has trapped us all; we are controlled by each other. We don’t have our own freedom of choice do we?

So dear no one I will not forget who she was, who she is and who she will be! She will keep her patience for sure.

She hopes that God has prepared each day of the future for the good of others and not herself.

I am forever myself.
Neelo Peelo

Is this world a lie? Is this life is a lie. Why am I here? Why we all are separated ‘like the branches of a tree’? Why are there more criminals walking around on streets than in prisons? Why can’t we see air? How big is the universe? Why is Shakespeare so important in the western world? If God loves us all why does he cause suffering such as wars and poverty? Is there any proof to whether there is a new life after death? How do we really know where the centre of the Earth is? Where is the most energy used? Where does the snow go to? Why is there more water than land? Is there any other living specie (‘Martians’) in the universe? Can trees and plants talk? Why do living things die? When did time start and when will it end?

Trip To Belfast.

2009-12-13T12:09:00.021Z

Peace,

I know I did kind of promise that I would write up a blog statement about my trip to Belfast so here it is.

So I and a group of about 21 students from my Via Media enrichment group attended an educational trip to Belfast on the 3rd and 4th of December…making the days of school on Thursday and Friday! So yes I got the chance to miss two days of school :P

The reason for the trip was for my enrichment group’s knowledge on the conflict between the Protestants and Catholics in Northern Ireland. I’ll just give you a quick overview about the whole thing. Basically there are two groups who basically fought against each other, the Catholics and Protestants…

The Catholics have a group known as IRA (Irish Republican Army), the IRA is a group of Irish people/volunteers who believed that Ireland should be a political unity. And because England (the British) had invaded parts of Ireland, the IRA fought to have their land back. So the IRA had a war against the people who wanted to keep Ireland with Great Britain (it aint that ‘Great’) and keep the British in Ireland. So overall the IRA is aimed or is aiming for the British to be gone out of Ireland – they want Ireland to be united as a single country.

Now the Protestants have remained as part of UK. They are known as ‘Loyalists’ and they have many groups such as UDA (Ulster Defence Association), UVF (Ulster Volunteer Force), and LVF (Loyalist Volunteer Force). All these groups were and are in Northern Ireland. These groups wanted to assassinate members of the IRA because they wanted to remain with UK or British.

Most frequently the loyalists have targeted the IRA and sometimes even innocent Catholics. More Catholics were/have been killed than Protestants. Almost 3,500 people on both sides have died since the Troubles began in 1969. It’s hard to say what exactly the war is over, because simply more than thousands of people cannot possible just get killed over land…could they? Some will say that it wasn’t only over land or being on which side, but in fact it was to do with social class and religion. So there are different views and yet today a couple of people will get killed now and then. This is just some of what I have learnt whilst the 2 day trip in Belfast, we had some people speak to us about their experiences of the war and even what their role had been in it.

There were many paintings, pictures, drawings, graffiti, etc on walls of houses, buildings and anywhere where there was room for a freedom of speech picture. Strangely whilst looking at many of these pictures i wondered if it was illegal to have such pictures on walls!

The image below shows a picture of 3 men who were wrongly accused, convicted and hung in 1867 in Manchester.

This picture below was one if my favourites, i was quiet suprised to see such a picture in Belfast. It shows support for Palestine and shows Israel aggression. It also shows the wall that seperated Israel and Gaza strip.

This is a picture of Bobby Sands who was a poet, MP, IRA volunteer. He wanted his demands to be met so he starved himself. He eventually died after slipping into a comma.

This is 'the peace wall' in Shankill.

This picture shows the loyalist (Protestant) group.

"Catholicism is more than a religion, it is a political power, therefore im led to believe there will be no peace in Ireland until the Catholic church is crushed". - This is probably a statement that was said by a loyalist.

I had to include this picture :D some of us went to pizza hut in Belfast City.

After eating my group ran to the top of that.

The Via Media enrichment group.

Belfast City.

The view outside the hostel (the place we were staying at).

Bogside.

Notice the palestinian flag painted on the wall in the Bogside area.

This is used to shoot or bomb the above area ages ago.
Another picture outside a museum of Palestine with me beside it :)
The plane my group was on.

Like Father - Like Daughter

2009-11-14T19:06:00.001Z

Amongst the many family dynamics issues that the Muslim community is beginning to address, one of the least-discussed subjects remains that of father-daughter relationships.

In the Muslim community especially, this is an issue which has been overlooked, ignored, and generally treated with a sense of discomfort. Particularly amongst immigrant families, the relationship between a father and his daughter(s) is often a distant one; girls are encouraged to spend the majority of their time with their mothers and other womenfolk.

A girl might be "Daddy's Little Princess" as a baby, a toddler, a child, but as she grows closer to puberty she will often find herself left at home instead of taken to the masjid, attention deflected from her and turned towards her brothers instead (if she has any).
Unfortunately, this is a practice which has extremely negative repercussions… for the fathers, the daughters, and indeed the Ummah at large.

Psychologists refer to father-daughter relationships as having an importance too often overlooked, despite the incredible impact that it has on both parties. Indeed, much of the time the effect of this relationship isn't even noticed until much later in life, when patterns have already been set and are unlikely to change.

The role of a father in his daughter's life is pivotal: he is the first man in her life; the one who teaches her what he, a male, thinks of her, a female; and thus shapes her sense of self-worth in the eyes of other men; the one whose behaviour and mannerisms will influence her mental image of "the perfect man" and her choice of life partner (i.e. husband).

In Islam as well as in psychology, the father is meant to be the daughter's guardian, protecting her from harm, teaching her life skills and strong values. Yet despite all this, far too many fathers play a distant, secondary role in their daughter's lives. There is a misconception that a father is merely the breadwinner, the supporter of the household, that his role is primarily that of financial provider rather than nurturer. After all, isn't it the mother's job to raise the children? Isn't it the mother's job to teach her daughters what it is to be a girl, a woman?

Yes, it is – but the mother is not a child’s only parent. She is equally the man’s progeny. His genes are present in her DNA, his flesh and blood are hers. When she looks at him, he is seeing a part of himself; in her behaviour is a reflection of his own attitude and mannerisms.
How then can any father willingly minimize his role in his daughter’s life?

Mistakes Fathers Make

Not being actively involved from the beginning (birth). Hold your daughter. Carry her. Change her diapers. You can’t expect to develop a bond between yourself and your child if you don’t make the effort to create it.
Not getting involved because you think you’re unprepared. Considering that you’ve already had experience with females thanks to your mother/ sister/ wife, you’re not as unprepared as you think you are, so relax.
Distancing yourself from her as she grows older. Girls become women. They change physically. It’s a fact of life, get used to it. Yes, puberty is uncomfortable for everyone involved, but denying it or ignoring it – or worse, ignoring her - just makes things worse. Nobody’s suggesting that you chat with your daughter about the details of her menstrual cycle, but it’d be a lot more helpful if you grabbed the Tylenol and handed her a hot water bottle instead of walking straight past her when you clearly know that she’s in pain. This is just one example of fathers’ denial about their daughters growing up; in truth, there are many ways that fathers demonstrate distance from their daughters.
Having little to no physical contact. The idea that hugging, kissing, or having any other positive physical contact with your daughter is “wrong” or “not manly” is absolutely ridiculous. Not only that, but it’s extremely harmful to your daughter’s development as she grows older. Whether your daughter is five or fifteen, both of you should be comfortable enough to turn to each other for a hug (that lasts longer than five seconds) at any time.
Little to no emotional communication. “Pass the salt” does not qualify as real communication. Make an effort to be involved in your daughter’s everyday life, whether it has to do with school and friends or just how she’s feeling on any given day. Building this bond will create a feeling of security and trust, and your daughter should be able to turn to you for help at times of emotional hurt and conflict.
Not expressing pride in their daughters. Girls crave their father’s praise and approval just as much as boys do. Nothing can thrill a daughter more than knowing that her father sees his own good qualities in her, that he is really and truly proud of her and her accomplishments.
The greatest, most perfect example of father-daughter relationships can be found in the history of Islam. Has there ever been a father more devoted, a daughter more adoring, than our beloved Messenger (sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) and Sayyidah Faatimah az-Zahraa’ (radhiAllahu anha)?

We all know the stories:

Young Faatimah, scarcely ten years old, wiping filth off of her father’s back and furiously berating the leaders of Quraysh for their behaviour.

Faatimah, who used to weep at the sight of dust that was thrown upon her father’s head, and would be comforted with the words “Do not cry, my daughter, for Allah shall protect your father!”

Faatimah, the apple of her father’s eye, of whom he said: “Whoever pleased Fatimah has indeed pleased God and whoever has caused her to be angry has indeed angered God. Fatimah is a part of me. Whatever pleases her pleases me and whatever angers her angers me." (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3437; Muslim, 4483)

Noble Faatimah, one of the four greatest women in the world: "The best women in all the world are four: the Virgin Mary, Aasiyaa the wife of Pharoah, Khadijah Mother of the Believers, and Fatimah, daughter of Muhammad."

Faatimah, of whom A’isha (radhiAllahu anha) commented, “I have not seen any one of God's creation resemble the Messenger of God more in speech, conversation and manner of sitting than Fatimah, may God be pleased with her. When the Prophet saw her approaching, he would welcome her, stand up and kiss her, take her by the hand and sit her down in the place where he was sitting."

The entire Muslim Ummah has benefited directly from this unique father-daughter relationship. How many lessons have been derived from the Seerah, from incidents pertaining to this father and to this daughter?! How much knowledge, how much wisdom, was transmitted from father to daughter, and from that daughter to her own sons, al-Hassan and al-Hussein (radhiAllahu anhum)?! Yaa subhanAllah! How can we ever belittle, neglect, forget the importance of such a bond?

O Muslim fathers, will you follow in the footsteps of the Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ‘alayi wa sallam)? Will you do what you can to help your daughter become the Faatimah az-Zahraa’ of today?

Or will you keep ignoring her, neglecting her, passing her off to ‘womanly influences’? And in the process, compromise, minimize, and even destroy the potential of someone who could become the next Maryam, Aasiyah, Khadijah, or Faatimah?

O Muslim men… be men! Be fathers. Be fathers of the greatest Muslim women this Ummah has ever known!

Blah Blah Blah

2009-10-19T17:56:00.002+01:00

I know, I know…I know I haven’t blogged for a while now. And that isn’t really my fault, I am not going to come up with some made up excuse, instead I might as well tell you why I haven’t blogged for a while now. Blame school! Besides it hasn’t been really too long since I last posted something here, it’s only been almost 2 weeks. So no biggy.

Back to the subject, ‘school’, my final year at sixth form, my final year of actual high school life, my final year of my A-levels, my final year of college and my final year in the building that I have spent about 7 years in. (Just to let you know when I say ‘final year’ I mean from September 2009 to June 2010).

Ahh, thinking of it makes me want to run around. But I have to admit that I’m deeply going to miss this school when I’ve left, with held memories. Other than that this year has probably been one of the worse years so far, mostly because everything seems full of frustration and promptness. Applying for uni’s, writing personal statements, getting references, getting work experience placements, trying extremely hard in exams/studies, trying hard in getting tops in coursework’s, deadlines to be met, sister’s wedding plans, driving lessons, trying to get my book at least quarter way through…blah blah blah. But right now what’s standing out most for me is the upcoming exams in January and how I’m going to reach to that stage, for a starter I think I have put on a self fulfilling prophecy by believing that there is no way I’m going to pass my Sociology exam in January. And I pick on my sociology subject mostly because since being back at school at the starting of September I haven’t learnt a single thing, I haven’t had a teacher to teach me and my sociology class and we are not going to be getting a sociology teacher until after the one week half term. So I’ve decided to use my EMA money and buy some text books and learn myself, regardless of if there will be some stuff that I might not understand, I’m better at learning when discussing sociology topics with someone, rather than just reading out of a text book and then forgetting everything that I’ve just read the next five minutes. So I’m a verbal learner.

Although the sixth form head manager has told us that we will be having a official sociology teacher after that half term…but what’s the point then, we will only half 1 month and a half to prepare and learn the topics we were meant to be doing before 18^th December, because then there will come the Christmas holidays! – More joy!

Ok next topic, ‘university’…I have no idea why I am applying for uni when I believe that I have such a small percentage of actually getting in. – such a low lack of self confident! Also I will be crazily applying for uni’s that are out of my area; in another city…therefore I will be living ALONE! Without my mummy, how will I cope?! (calms down) well that’s only if my parents are ok with me moving away…the only thing that I really want to do is this amazing course that is opened for Muslim girls, where we learn Islamic science, grammar in Arabic, the history of Islam and learn parts of the Quran. I think it’s fantastic…but it’s in Nottingham which is about an hour and a half drive away from home, the even better thing about this course is that I can get into teaching – a goal to my dream and I get a degree – a goal to my parents dream.

And oh yeah, talking above moving away…OMG! I’m going to Belfast! Away from home for 3 days for the first time ever…ahhhh, whooo!

Its part of enrichment that I’m taking part in at school, something called ‘Via Media’, it’s pretty cool. Learnt the history of Palestine and Israel, learnt about so called Extremism and Terrorism, found it quiet interesting. Anyway…the most shocking thing is that I couldn’t believe that my parents agreed to let me go to Belfast. There will definitely be a blog about this, I don’t know when I will be going yet though, I assume sometime in November.

At least that’s something to be told as good news.

Eight...

2009-10-08T17:06:00.009+01:00

Great! now ive been caught in this chain...
Not that its going to take long to complete, besides maybe it will make my blog look a little more lively, as i havent been able to get myself some time to post something new on here.
Anyway thanks to my friend for forwarded me this to fill out...

8 things I'm looking forward to:
~ finishing high school
~ making my parents very proud...one day
~ starting uni
~ atleast getting half way through my book
~ going on a holiday or going to preform Umrah
~ peace in places where there is war zone
~ when we get palestine back
~ when i meet the other side of life

God willing (inshAllah)

8 things I wish I could do:
~ Bring people together to sight for peace
~ Give all the orphans a piece of love
~ Kick the Israeli's out of Palestine
~ Travel the whole world and see its beauties and treasures
~ Leave a good impact on at least one person and make a difference in their life for the better
~ Get A* in every subject im studying
~ Get granted with a miracle of love for another
~ Taste at least one second of Heaven

God willing (inshAllah)

8 things I love:
~ Allah (swt), His creations, The Prophets, The Angels, Islam
~ My family, friends and everyone in between
~ Seeing people and bringing people happiness and laughter
~ The World's beauty, nature
~ All cultures and nationalities
~ Sleeping to the sound of rain
~ kids
~ My homeland

8 things I did yesterday:
~ Went to school, the usual lol

~ Cooked stir fry all alone!

~ Stayed up during the night to do some revision for school
~ Cleaned parts of the house
~ facebook-ed lol...obviously
~ Watched Lord of the Rings with Dad and the rest of fam
~ Typed up a hand written essay
~ Ate, prayed and slept lol...i wonder if that counts!

8 shows I watch:
hmmm i dont watch many shows, dont seem to get a lot of times on my hands to watch shows but if i do get spare time the shows that i like to watch are:
~ CSI
~ Ghost Whisperer
~ Flash forward - recently started
~ Prison Break
~ Master Chef haha

8 bloggers I tag:
I dont really tag others to my blog...if other people would like to tag my blog, then thats cool with me.

Oh Mother...

2009-09-28T15:02:00.005+01:00

Oh Mother

Oh mother I see you dreaming of your life
Like a fairy tale thinking of the things
Nothing that money could buy
For nine months you carried me tenderly inside you
You gave me the warmth and kept me safe
I know she has had a bad past
I hope and pray for tomorrow to be brighter
Hey mother holds those tears back
I see her keeping in all the pain
Keep your head high
You got us and we got you
And we will get this all through
So tired of defending her life
She could have lost it all and died
But yet she fights for the lives for her children
She was so young with an innocent heart
Doing all she could to give the life to her children
That none other could give
Oh mothers you will never grow older
Telling us that we are way tougher
‘Hold tightly the hand of your brother’
I’m sorry if I ever caused you pain
You know because deep inside it was all in vein
You were there at the start
And your still are here now
You were there in the morning
And you are still here in the evening
You have been in my heart and mind from beginning
And you will stay there everlastingly!

My mother, your mother, our mother
Stays always stronger
Don’t look back
Together we will get through
The pain and sorrow that you have been through
Doesn’t matter if you’re there or not
Because in the end you are still my mother
I thank you for everything that you have done
And everything that you still do
So I just wanted to let you know that
I love you!

Mothers you are very special and kind
And this is the reason behind
I say this just to make you smile
Forever and not just for a while
If life were without mothers
There would be no you or me
Thank you to God for creating us all
for giving us our mothers
so we can all stand proud and tall
She looks at me and tells me
‘Do not to let your future children walk my way
Or to hear the words I had to say’
I look in the mirror and investigate my face
Am I a spitting image of my mother?
We sit in the garden and breathe the fresh air
Think of the wonders and happiness
You shared the memory of when I was born
Told me the times when we had fun while shopping
Held my hand and walked me to school
I waited more than an hour after school for you
She sighed and played with my hair
She then came out with a problem
And everything fades away
I’m not sat in the garden but instead I’m in the rain
Not breathing fresh air but instead stale air
We never actually went shopping
Or neither did you ever walk me to school
It was all just an imagination
Tomorrow comes and goes what it brings is so poor!

My mother, your mother, our mother
Always stays stronger
Don’t look back
Together we will get through
The pain and sorrow that you have been through
Doesn’t matter if you’re there or not
Because in the end you are still my mother
I thank you for everything that you have done
And everything that you still do
So I just want to let you know that
I love you!

By Neelam Ahmed

I miss Ramadan

2009-09-25T18:21:00.003+01:00

Long time no post on here. Finally I got the free time and chance to write something to on my blog….yes I’ve been busy!

Ramadan is finished and Eid is celebrated.

Eid was great this year, but I found it quiet strange and different, mostly because during Ramadan everyone seemed so…so…nice? I don’t think that’s the word…well let me put it this way, basically during Ramadan everyone was all ‘holy’ (that’s the word my friend used).

Anyhow…u probably know what I’m talking about…no need for me to blab on.

This Eid was fantanstico…had friends and family over, and I and my family went out to my cousins and aunts house too.

Food glorious food, hot kebabs and ketchup

While were in the mood, hot keer and nuts

(Cough, cough) Enough of that!

Plenty of food…however I think, in fact I believe, that people waste too much food, in piece of evidence, whilst cleaning up after everyone (the females) had left more food left on plates then the males! Why fill plates up so much when you know it’s going to go to waste?

But I must applause…the guys had clean plates.

Anyway because Eid was on Sunday, I missed Monday off. It happens every year, 2 days is off school because on the second we still have people coming over and we still have houses to attend…mostly because my family is pretty huge and it’s hard to get around to everyone’s house in one day. Even tho it’s frustrating but it’s still fun…and time flies by fast.

I miss Ramadan a lot already…

I hope everyone had a blessed Ramadan and a fun time on Eid :)

Papers Away!

2009-09-15T16:42:00.012+01:00

PAPERS AWAY!

Now I stay awake all night

In the bitter electric light

Look up into the sky and ask if this is a plague

Starting to see everything as vague

With such painful change

Of thought, such constrast strange

Think to yourself how can this be

No Freedom, No Justice, No Democracy.

You will surely not remain

No idea, what's going through my brain?

For this Earth is not perfectly round

You will always hear different sounds

The brave ones will seek retribution

And the law makers will become peace detractions

People have been busy absorbing their own reflections

Why is it that perfection gets the attention?

The madness of this world

Is making me feel so cold

Pressed the button to switch on the TV

The pictures are rough and grainy

Watching mothers clutching children

While one begs to be forgiven

As one's life's gets stolen

The other gets treated like an alien.

Now I stay awake all night

In the bitter electric light

Look up into the sky and ask if this is a plague

Starting to see everything as vague

With such painful change

Of thought, such constrast strange

Think to yourself how can this be

No Freedom, No Justice, No Democracy.

I'm seeing the paper still writing

Oh how the world is fighting?

Over nothing but protection

With no negotiation

We have set out to battle for justice and truth

And we shall to the best of our tough youth

All I see is deep devastation

With people's hate and separation

We are splitting like the branches of a tree

Not realising this is not how it's meant to be

The world now has the chance to enjoy their kill

While others worry about paying their bill

I'm starting to feel the weight of the world on my shoulder

People are getting colder, as this world is getting boulder

So you spit poison in my face

Now i feel like I should never have came to this place

Now I stay awake all night

In the bitter electric light

Look up into the sky and ask if this is a plague

Starting to see everything as vague

With such painful change

Of thought, such constrast strange

Think to yourself how can this be

No Freedom, No Justice, No Democracy.

By Neelam Ahmed

BACK TO SCHOOL!

2009-09-09T15:11:00.007+01:00

Now that the summer holidays are over and school is back, something seems to be still missing...

Today was my first day back, and I must say not many people have changed over the summer, well there are some who are tanned, some unfamiliar faces have appeared and some familiar faces have disappeared!

I still feel like im the whole holiday mood…and get the feeling that its gona take me ages just to get back to that normal routine of, waking up early in the morning, going to school and spending half the day there, coming home, praying, eating, watching tv, doing housework, doing homework, praying again, going to sleep and then this all repeating itself again and again!

Really wished that I could have had a proper holiday this summer…you know like actually go out of the UK, infact actually go out of my home city (Leeds).

But, nooooo…

Oh well…too late for the moaning now.

I guess the only new stuff that happened this summer is that I got my nose pierced, I seem to have put on weight (especially cuz of ramadhaan not because ive not been doing anything), my wardrobe seems to be full off unwanted clothes, some parts of my home have been changed, and oh yeh did I forget to mention that one of the major new stuff this summer has been that its actually been the MOST boring summer ever!

I also found it quiet stupid how the new year 7' got pushed around and sort of picked on by the older peeps…it happens every year, something always goes on with the new year 7, just because they are new and to freak them out about the whole thing about being in high school…whats worst is that when those new year 7 reach year 9 or 10, they will go and end up teasing the next new year 7, whats the point?…I guess it’s just 'the circle of life' - (watchen too much of Lion King, hehe)

But the bright side is that ramadhaan has been partly in the summer holidays, so I was able to read the Quran fully and do as much iba'da. Also at least I don’t have to wear the school’s crappy new uniform (blazer, tie, shirt, trousers) as im in sixth form…

FOREVER

2009-09-09T13:26:00.004+01:00

FOREVER

Tell me do you now feel so much better
That now I have gone forever
Are things starting to come clear?
Now that I have disappeared
Harsh words had been spoken
They will all come back to you in future
Come and meet me by the river
And I will tell you something that will last forever.

Life is weird with its twists and turns
Now it’s just something we all gotta learn
Often the struggler gives up
When he might have caught the victor’s cup
How close he was to the golden crown
And he knew it’s too late especially when the sun came down
you told me to always fight for what you lost
And you promised me something when we were just young
Remember at the time when we hung
We went on about the fun and crazy things that went on back at school
You smiled at me even tho deep inside I knew there was something you hid
You looked at me in the eye and took me by real surprise
I stood there in amaze and wondered why
Then things got so bad with you
And you told me to stay out with the things you were going thro
So I did I just had to allow people get to you, made me grit my teeth
I got caught up in it and then I felt like I’m the one who caused it
Then there was a grudge against me like I did something
You said you had to hit the airport
And staying here wasn’t safe no more
I kept telling you that I was sorry
And that it was never my intension to hurt you
But I really knew you weren’t hitting the airport
Because just the next day I saw you

Tell me do you now feel so much better
That now I have gone forever
Are things starting to come clear?
Now that I have disappeared
Harsh words had been spoken
They will all come back to you in future
Come and meet me by the river
And I will tell you something that will last forever.

You put up your hood up and hid your face
I screamed your name you turned and looked
Shuffled your feet as tho you wanted to reach
But the freaking cops beside you held you tight
Seeing the pain you were in just wasn’t right
Then I ran towards you
You moved real fast so the cops couldn’t get a grip of you
I heard you yell and I turned to my right
Just to hear and feel the shot
And that was the time when I had to drop
You caught me, rested my head on your knee
Just then my life flashed
Seeing you and I in the place that you described
Reached down into my pocket and pulled out a locket
You stared in shock on how long I had it
Your tears hit me like bullets
It was then too late to stop it, you heard my last breath
Then it was all over TV and papers
On how you shot me
The whole image just then changes
Just that night you couldn’t live with it
You found a gun on the ground
So you pulled the trigger and popped it!

Tell me do you now feel so much better
That now I have gone forever
Are things starting to come clear?
Now that I have disappeared
Harsh words had been spoken
They will all come back to you in future
Come and meet me by the river
And I will tell you something that will last forever.

By Neelam Ahmed

We will not go down by Michael Heart (song for gaza)

2009-09-08T17:36:00.003+01:00

Beautiful Or Ugly

2009-09-08T16:52:00.000+01:00

Beautiful or Ugly

(Whisper) please don’t look at me.

When I was 8 they said I looked strange
I noticed my eyes and nose weren’t the same
I looked at myself and frowned
My face wasn’t meant to be so round
So I asked my mummy if I was okay
She looked into my ‘almond eyes’ just like daddy used to say
Smiled and said ‘I look more beautiful each day,
They wish that they had your smile
And that’s how they showed it
By saying to you their bit’
Then I got confidence in myself for a while
With who I am, how I looked and with my own style

God made you and me the same way
You should only get judged by what you do
Don’t listen to what they say
You are true, when you just be you
The sun isn’t going to always shine
They’re words aren’t going to let you down
Even through the bad times
Don’t let yourself drown
And if I’m ugly
Look at yourself and say those words quietly
So are you...

When I turned 13 I started to care
On how tall I was and how much I weighed
They made it feel like life was unfair
I looked at others and it made me afraid
I didn’t know my body would so quickly change
Sat in class I would hide my face
It made things look so strange
I wished that I could just be replaced
The media hit us all like what you looked like was the real frame
I would see girl’s faces almost like plastic dolls
Guys would go for the beautiful, well isn’t that their real aim?

God made you and me the same way
Don’t listen to what they say
You should only get judged by what you do
You are beautiful in every way
And you are true, when you just be you
The sun isn’t going to always shine
They’re words aren’t going to let you down
Even through the bad times
Don’t let yourself drown
And if I’m ugly
Look at yourself and say those words quietly
So are you...

When I turned 17 I wasn’t too bothered
I grew taller than them in better ways
I realised that personality was the real game
It wasn’t about what I looked like
It was all about what was under your name
Me and my friends we looked alike
There were times when people talked bad about others
This one mostly goes out to those sisters
Hold in the emptiness pain and don’t feel ashamed
Y’all are beautiful, that is something that I have claimed
Don’t let them tell you that ‘you ain’t beautiful’
Keep your head held high
Just look into their eyes and say
‘Either are you!’

(Whisper) please don’t look at me.

By Neelam Ahmed

Ramadhaan O Ramadhaan...

2009-09-08T15:50:00.002+01:00

Asalaam Alaikum (Peace be with you) brothers and sisters

Inshallah everyone is keeping on the straight path this Ramadan and have the sincere intention of carrying it on after Ramadan. The most important thing to remember is to increase and extend what you have done this Ramadan into the rest of the year. By doing this you are showing Allah that you love Him and Allah loves consistency.

A'isha said that Rasulullah (SAW) said : "The deeds most loved by Allah swt (are those) done regularly, even if they are small". (Bukhari, Muslim)

Alhumdulillah (praise to God), read that again and be amazed at the blessings of Allah to His slaves. In today's day and age it is really easy to get caught up in doing as much as one can before the day has ended and then become so exhausted mentally that they do not feel like doing anything for the rest of the week. This is a wrong way of looking at things brothers and sisters.

What is more dear to you? Feeding a poor hungry person 5 times a week or feeding him once? What matters also is patience. As Muslims we need to be patient and put all our trust in Allah as Allah knows all and only wants the best for us. Alhumdulillah. Think about that. Allah, the Almighty wants what is best for the believers. Yet, we make things harder than they need to be.

A brother today asked Imam Yusuf Estes how can I grow the beard. Mashallah (whatever God wills). Yusuf Estes said, "Stop cutting it". Alhumdulillah, Allah is giving you a beard with continuous hair growing but we make it hard for ourselves by always cutting it and then complaining.

Dear brothers and sisters please put your trust in Allah. Allah knows all. Our minds are limited in affairs even though we think we know what may be good for us. This Ramadan we should all try to learn to let things be as they are and not complain about our situations if the smallest thing doesnt go right.

"Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere" [Surah Baqarah (2: 155)]

Allah tells us before these things are going to happen and to be happy for those that these calamities happen to. If you say, "Alhumdulillah" and glorify His name during the bad times He will build for you a place in Paradise inshallah.

Inshallah, Allah helps the believers to the straight path this Ramadan and beyond and pushes us further into the deen that will surely excel us on the day of Judgement inshallah.

Brothers and sisters please remember each other in your duas because on the day of Judgement everyone will be looking out for themselves so help each other out as much as you can now inshallah.

Asalaam Alaikum